90 Possum Puns – Funny Cute & Clever Possum Wordplay

Warning: These possum puns are so bad… you might actually play dead from laughing. 🐾😂

Okay sooo… have you ever just randomly thought about possums? Like, those sneaky little night critters with the “surprised but also guilty” face? 😂 Well, turns out, people (me, hi 🙋) can’t resist turning possums into walking wordplay machines. They’re weirdly adorable, a little chaotic, and honestly… perfect for puns.

What are the funniest, cutest, and most downright ridiculous possum puns out there?

This blog has 90 of them. Yup. One hundred and sixty-two. Don’t ask me why that number it just felt right.

So grab a snack (preferably not trash like an actual possum would), and let’s get into the pun hole. 🕳️

Best Possum Puns

If we’re starting strong, we gotta drop the “greatest hits” first. These are the ones that just click. Like the kinda puns where you go “ugh, why didn’t I think of that.”

• Stay paw-sitive, stay possi-tive.
• Possum-thing tells me you’re gonna love this one.
• Not opossum… my possum.
• Live fast, eat trash, be a possum. (iconic tbh)
• Possum-ble things happen every day.
• Possum-thing magical is going on here.
• You can’t spell awesome without possum (well… kinda).
• Possum luck is better than no luck.
• Possum vibes only – Check out more animals puns: Echidna Puns
• The paw-sibilities are endless.
• You possum be kidding me!
• I’m not playing dead; I’m just tired.
• Don’t mind me; I’m just trash with class.

These are kinda like your go-to playlist you can pull ‘em out anywhere: DMs, birthday cards, memes, you name it.

Funny Possum Puns

Okay, here’s where things get silly. Possums are already comedy gold like, they play dead for drama points, hiss at nothing, and then waddle away like nothing happened. Sooo making puns about them is basically free serotonin.

• Possum-thing smells fishy… oh wait, it’s just me raiding the trash.
• Zero pawssibilities of me cleaning my room today.
• Possum? I hardly know ‘em!
• Why did the possum cross the road? …It didn’t. It just sat there.
• Be trashy, stay flashy.
• Possum-lutely not doing chores today.
• This party is getting possum-crazy.
• Stop opossum-inating and do it already.
• Possum-thing hilarious just happened – Check out more animals puns: Armadillo Puns
• I’m only trash-talking in possum language.

Honestly, I feel like possums are basically the comedians of the animal world. They didn’t choose the raccoon aesthetic, but they own it.

Cute Possum Puns

Okay okay, time to soften it up. Sometimes possums are surprisingly… adorable?? (Like when they’re holding tiny fruit or when a mama possum has like 10 babies riding her back like a bus.) These puns are for the softies.

• You’re paws-itively adorable.
• Possum cuddles incoming.
• Too cute to opossum-tunity miss.
• Hold on tight like a baby possum.
• Possum hugs >>> everything else.
• Snuggle like a possum in a blanket.
• You’re my possum sunshine.
• Possum kisses, no misses.
• Cutie-pie with a possum side.
• Sweet as possum pie – Check out more animals puns: Weasel Puns

If you’re texting someone you have a crush on and you drop one of these? Instant heart melt. Trust me.

Possum Love Puns

Yesss, we’re talking romance possum-style. Forget roses. Forget Shakespeare. Bring on the furry trash panda vibes.

• You make my heart play possum.
• I’m totally possum-sessed with you.
• Love you to opossum-ity and beyond.
• Possum + you = paw-fect match.
• Let’s be trash together forever.
• Possum-thing about you makes my heart skip.
• Forever yours, paw and all.
• You stole my snack… and my heart.
• Possum-sibly in love with you – Check out more animals puns: Chimpanzee Puns
• Trash to treasure thanks to you.

If you put one of these in a Valentine’s card, it’s either going to get you a kiss… or at least an eye-roll so strong it’s basically affection.

Possum Birthday Puns

Forget boring “Happy Birthday.” We’re going full possum chaos.

• Have an unbe-possumbly fun birthday!
• Another year older? Play dead about it.
• Eat cake like a possum eats trash.
• Hope your day is possum-tively perfect.
• You’re aging like fine garbage.
• Hope your birthday is trash-tastically fun.
• Cake first, possum later.
• Possum-ly the best birthday ever.
• Old? Nah, just possum-aged.
• Party till you play dead – Check out more animals puns: Mule Puns

Honestly, if you’re the friend who always writes weird stuff in birthday cards, this section is for you.

Possum Puns Captions

Ah yes, the Instagram moment. Whether you’re posting a selfie, a possum meme, or you literally found a possum in your yard (lucky), these captions got you.

• Trash but make it fashion.
• Serving late-night driveway possum vibes.
• Possum-core aesthetic unlocked.
• Stay wild, stay possum.
• Looking pawsome, feeling possum.
• Possum squad, assemble.
• Stay cozy, stay possum.
• Feeling possum-fresh today.
• Possum power on the timeline – Check out more animals puns: Reindeer Puns
• Nocturnal chic is the new trend.

Your friends will either laugh or unfollow you. Worth the risk.

Possum Puns One Liners

Quick hitters. No setup. Just boom pun.

• Possum-tively iconic.
• More drama than a possum on a porch.
• Possum-ibly the best day ever.
• Just here for the snacks. Like a possum.
• Paw-some, possum.
• Possum vibes, human problems.
• Trash queen, possum dream.
• Possum-tion accomplished.
• Possum-ing through life one snack at a time.
• Possum humor? Always – Check out more animals puns: Whale Puns

Sometimes, less is more.

Possum Puns for Instagram

Okay I know we already did captions, but Instagram is a beast. So here’s an extra stash of Insta-friendly ones for photos, reels, or stories.

• When life gives you trash, be the possum.
• Golden hour, but make it possum.
• Not all heroes wear capes, some just dig in dumpsters.
• Cottagecore? Nah, possumcore.
• Living the nocturnal dream.
• Possum filter: natural glow.
• Trash but trending.
• Possum chic aesthetic unlocked.
• Stay calm, play possum.
• In my possum era.

Drop one of these under a photo and you basically win the internet for the day.

Possum Puns Dirty (you knew this was coming)

Okay okay, I can already hear you giggling. Let’s be real animal puns + “dirty” humor = internet gold. Nothing too scandalous, just cheeky enough.

• Wanna see my trash collection?
• Let’s play possum… in bed.
• Possum-thing naughty is happening tonight.
• I’ll show you my dumpster if you show me yours.
• You, me, and a pile of garbage = perfection.
• Let’s get paws-itively tangled.
• Trashy nights, possum delights.
• Possum-thing wild in the dark.
• I’ll play possum… you make the first move.
• Dumpster fire but make it sexy.

Are these classy? No. Are they hilarious at 2am? Absolutely.

Final Move: Don’t Play Dead on These Puns

Aaaand that’s it, friends. 90 possum puns unleashed into the world like tiny chaotic trash goblins. If you made it this far, congrats you’re either obsessed with wordplay or just a very patient soul.

Whether you’re here for the funny, the cute, the romantic, or the slightly questionable dirty puns, the truth is: possums deserve their pun moment. They’re messy, they’re dramatic, they’re a little misunderstood… kinda like us, right?

So next time you need a birthday card line, an Insta caption, or just wanna annoy your group chat grab one of these puns and go wild. And if someone groans? Perfect. That means it worked. 😉

Alright, possum pals. Stay weird, stay trashy, and remember: life’s paw-some when you make it possum. ✌️