133 Squid Puns That will Crack You Up Ink-stantly

🦑 Warning: These squid puns may cause uncontrollable ink bursts (of laughter)! 😂

Before you roll your eyes and swim away, just hear me out: squid puns are way funnier than you think. Like, surprisingly funny. Weirdly funny. Dad-joke-meets-deep-sea funny. 😆

Squid might seem like those mysterious little ocean noodles who just float around being all tentacly and smart, but OH—there’s pun potential there. Big time.

We’ve got 133 of ’em right here, and they’re absolutely inky-dinkulous.

Ready to get kraken? Let’s dive in! 🌊

Best Squid Puns

So if you’re looking for like, the greatest hits of squid humor—this is the section. No fluff, just straight-up giggle fuel. These are the puns that inkspired this whole post.

• You’re squid-tacular!
• I’m in a deep sea relationship… with calamari.
• He’s the real deal—no squidding.
• Let’s not be shellfish about these jokes.
• That was tentacle-ly awkward 😅
• I kraken-ed up reading this!
• Squid happens, bro.
• Are you trying to ink-press me?
• I can’t help it—I’m just so-fishticated.
• You’re totally my type—tentacles and all.
• I squid you not, this joke’s a killer.
• That inkcident was totally avoidable.
• Just wingin’ it? Nah, I’m finnin’ it.
• Squid up or shut up!
• I live on the edge… of the coral reef.
• Let’s get squid-faced tonight.
• No need to clam up—let your squid shine.
• He’s not shy, just selectively inky – Check out more animals puns: Panda Puns
• I’m the black sheep of the squid pod.
• We’re all just floating through this inkstorm called life.

These are the ones you whip out when you’re trying to tentacle someone’s funny bone. 😉

Funny Squid Puns

Okay, now we’re getting silly. Like, full-on laugh-at-your-own-joke silly. This is where the deep sea dad jokes come out to play.

• I told my squid joke at the bar… it inked the room.
• That squid party? Off the hook.
• What did the squid say to the shrimp? “You’re kinda shrimpy for this convo.”
• I tried squid yoga. Too many limbs. 0/10.
• I think my squid has commitment inkssues.
• If I were a squid, I’d totally ghost ink out of awkward convos.
• I’m not mad… I’m just squidtly disappointed.
• This is inkredible! (Sorry not sorry.)
• We should totally do a squid-themed game night. Call it Cephalo-fun.
• I’m not being dramatic, I’m just… multi-armedly emotional today.
• When life gives you lemons, squirt ink in its eyes.
• My squid therapist says I need to let things float.
• I failed my driving test… kept squid-ding on the road.
• That squid stole my lunch. It was a suck-up.
• I started a squid band. We call ourselves The Inkspots.
• I spilled secrets… guess I’m a leaky cephalopod.
• My squid jokes are like my love life—slippery.
• I just need a moment to re-squiderate – Check out more animals puns: Gorilla Puns
• He got ghosted? Must be the phantom ink.
• That party was so wild, even the squid inked itself.

Honestly, sometimes it’s the dumbest ones that hit the hardest. 😭

Squid Love Puns

Oof. Squid love. It’s slippery, a little clingy, and FULL of feelings. These puns? Perfect for flirty messages, V-Day cards, or writing “I squid you not, I love you” in your partner’s lunchbox.

• I’m totally suckered into loving you.
• You had me at ink.
• We’re tentacle-y perfect together.
• I kraken smile every time I see you.
• Are you a squid? ‘Cause I’m stuck on you. 💘
• You ink up my life.
• Our love is deeper than the Mariana Trench.
• I’d cross the entire ocean just to squish one of your tentacles.
• You’re my favorite cephalopartner 🥹
• You had me in your grasp… literally.
• You octopi my heart (I know, I know, but it’s close enough).
• Let’s be clingy together 💕
• My love for you is deeper than a squid trench.
• I fell for you faster than a squid in escape mode.
• I found the squid to my cuddle puddle.
• I’m head over tentacles for you.
• Let’s ink our love story together.
• You had me wrapped up in all eight arms – Check out more animals puns: Cheetah Puns
• Tentacles can’t hold a candle to the way you hold my heart.
• I don’t need a love potion—just your squidgy smile. 🥹

Love is weird, right? Even weirder when it’s got suction cups.

Cute Squid Puns

If squids had plush toys (wait—do they??), these are the kind of puns they’d whisper in your ear. These are sweet, soft, and mildly ridiculous.

• You’re the squishiest lil squid I know.
• Ink you very much!
• Squee! It’s a baby squid! (squiddo?)
• You’re tentacle-ly adorable.
• Have a squidtastic day!
• I’m in love and I can’t kelp it.
• You’re just the right amount of salty.
• Feeling squidly cute today, might delete later.
• Just out here, vibin’ and inkin’.
• I made you a snack… it’s calamari. 😳 jk. maybe.
• Just a lil’ squiddie being all soft n’ inky.
• Tiny squid, big cuddles.
• If I had a plushie, it’d be squiddishly adorable.
• Squid goals = snackin’ and nappin’.
• Lookin’ tentacool and feeling tentacute.
• I’m just a squishy bean with fins.
• Current mood: curled up like a baby squid.
• Cephaloblessed and tentafluffy – Check out more animals puns: Leopard Puns
• I inked my pants—just kidding! Or am I?
• Lil’ inky, big attitude 😎

Perfect for notes, stickers, or anything that needs a touch of ridiculous cuteness.

Clever Squid Puns

Now let’s get just a bit smarter about our puns. These ones sneak up on you. They might even require a second read. But once they land—chef’s kiss.

• Call me Aristotle, ‘cause I’m tentacling with philosophy.
• My squid has a PhD in Ink-omprehensible Behavior.
• He’s not stubborn—just cephalocentric.
• In a sea of ordinary, be a bioluminescent squid.
• If Plato had tentacles, he’d still never reach this depth.
• That debate got a little too inktense.
• I’m fluent in cephalopuns.
• Can’t squidnap what’s already emotionally unavailable.
• Inkognito mode activated.
• I don’t rise and grind—I float and ink.
• Not to flex, but I scored inkredibly high on my SATentacle.
• My thoughts? Fluid, like squid logic.
• This joke’s got more layers than a deep-sea squid.
• Call me Squidward… I overthink AND underwhelm.
• I philosophize, therefore I squid.
• Every squid’s got a dark ink side.
• I tried to study… got distracted by existential squid memes.
• It’s not sarcasm—it’s cephalosnark – Check out more animals puns: Tiger Puns
• I majored in Inkonomics.
• Ask me anything—I’ve got eight perspectives.

Big brain, deep sea style.

Squid Puns One Liners

These hit hard, fast, and leave ink stains on your soul (in a good way).

• I just got dumped. Guess it’s a tentasplit.
• Cephalopod, but make it fashion.
• Keep your friends close and your squids closer.
• I asked for space, he gave me the whole ocean.
• Why fight when we can just ink it out?
• I’m not moody—I’m just 90% water and 10% sass.
• Tentacles: because two arms isn’t enough to hug you properly.
• Got 99 problems and a squid ain’t one.
• He said I was too clingy… classic squid stereotype.
• Me: Emotionally unavailable. Also me: owns 8 arms. 🙃
• Just another day in the ink lane.
• Ink over matter.
• Got no backbone, just vibes.
• Cephalone and proud.
• Squid it and quit it.
• He inked up on me like a ninja.
• My patience is thinner than squid paper.
• Eight arms, no chill – Check out more animals puns: Orangutan Puns
• Don’t test me—I’m one tentacle away from losing it.
• I’m not overreacting, I’m over-inking.

Short, punchy, and just enough chaos.

Squid Puns Dirty (but like… barely NSFW)

Okay, you knew this was coming. Don’t act surprised. These are cheeky, maybe a lil’ spicy, but mostly just good clean (or mildly salty) fun.

• Let’s get inky tonight 😉
• I’ve got eight reasons you’ll love this.
• Call me calamari, ’cause I’m hot and a lil fried.
• That squid? Absolute snack.
• This cuddle sesh is turning into a suck session 😳
• Ink me like one of your French girls.
• He said “what that beak do?” and now we’re married.
• Tentacles: for when one arm just isn’t enough fun.
• Wanna come over and, uhh… deep sea dive?
• Don’t squidshame me—I have needs!
• Wanna see my ink jet in action?
• Let’s get tangled up—squid style.
• That suction though…
• Warning: I cuddle extra clingy.
• Squid game? More like bed game.
• You bring the snacks, I’ll bring the squish.
• What happens in the reef… stays in the reef.
• I like my tentacles where I can wrap ‘em.
• Get inky with it.
• Let’s skip the small talk and ink right into it 😘

Look, if you’re not giggling or blushing even a little, you’re definitely a robot.

Conclusion: You’re Officially a Squid Pun Master

If you made it this far, congrats! You now know 133 squid puns. That’s either extremely impressive… or extremely questionable. Either way—respect. 🫡

Whether you’re making your friends groan on purpose, crafting the world’s most ridiculous Valentine, or just bored at work googling “squid puns” (hi, been there), now you’ve got an arsenal of wordplay we ink you’ll love.

So go forth, pun it up, and remember: You’re tentacle-y amazing. 🦑

Wanna see more pun posts like this? Drop me a message, or share this with your weirdest friend. They’ll love it. Probably.

Peace, ink, and ridiculousness 💜