90 Termite Puns That will Eat You Up With Laughter

😂 Warning: These termite puns are so good, they’ll chew you up with laughter! 🐜🔥

Okay, look… termites? Not exactly the life of the party. They’re sneaky little homewreckers, they chew through your house like it’s an all-you-can-eat buffet, and honestly, they’re the reason your wooden porch isn’t standing anymore 😬.

But hear me out: what if termites were actually hilarious? Like, what if instead of picturing them as evil wood-munching gremlins, we started seeing them as adorable little stand-up comedians with pun-derful punchlines?

They’re weird, unexpected, sometimes oddly clever, and sooo underrated. Perfect for pest control ads, dad jokes, social captions, or just when you need a dumb laugh that chews you up inside.

In this post, we’re diving into 90+ termite puns across categories like:

Best Termite Puns

Let’s kick things off strong with the puns that just hit different. These are the termite puns you didn’t know you needed in your life:

• I’m board of these termites… literally.
• That termite sure knows how to drill into conversation.
• Caught a termite doing stand-up. He really brought the house down.
• Why did the termite get kicked out? He just couldn’t hold his chew.
• This date’s going great. Just don’t mention termites—they’ll eat right through the mood.
• “He’s not a snack, he’s a whole floorboard.”
• My house isn’t haunted, it’s just got termites doing home renovations
• Termites don’t leave—they evict you
• That moment you realize your deck was just an appetizer
• If termites had Yelp, my home’s rated five stars
• The floor’s not creaky, it’s crying because of termites
• He didn’t break my heart, but the termites broke my chair
• I bought a wood table, termites called it room service
• My porch went missing, suspects: termites with big dreams
• If you hear munching at midnight, it’s not ghosts—it’s termites
• Bought termite insurance, should’ve bought a new house instead – Check out more insects puns: Bee Puns

Honestly, if termites had a comedy club, it’d be called The Gnaw House 😂

Also… fun fact: termites cause billions in damage every year. BILLIONS. Which makes these jokes lowkey therapeutic, right?

Funny Termite Puns

Alright, time to lighten things up. These termite jokes are goofy, cheeky, and borderline groan-worthy (in the best way).

• Why did the termite bring a suitcase? He’s moving in.
• Termites don’t bite… they devour with love.
• I had a wooden table, once. The termites had it too.
• Never trust a termite. They’ve got shady grain intentions.
• He ghosted me like a termite in the night. Quiet, destructive, and now my couch is gone.”
• Termites don’t eat fast food—they just eat fast
• I didn’t lose weight, termites just chewed my scale
• That wasn’t thunder, that was termites dropping ceiling tiles
• Termite squad just pulled up like they own the place
• You know it’s bad when the termites are leaving reviews
• My walls are whispering… probably termite gossip
• Tried to hang a photo, wall crumbled—thanks termites
• Termites at my house act like they pay rent
• Termite motto: Eat, nap, repeat – Check out more insects puns: Butterfly Puns
• Who needs a sledgehammer when you’ve got termites

You ever laugh at something so dumb it just hits right? Yeah. These. 👇

• “He didn’t eat dinner because he was already full of… drywall.”
• “I saw a termite at Home Depot, rating the wood section.”
• “Their favorite reality show? Extreme Makeover: Home Destruction Edition.”

Clever Termite Puns

Okay okay, you want that smart humor. The kind of wordplay that makes people go “ugh, that’s clever.” We gotchu.

• Termites don’t do Tinder, they do Timber.
• When termites get romantic, they call it foreplay—get it? ‘fore’ like forests’? Okay nevermind.
• They’ve got real taste… in baseboards and mahogany.
• He’s in a committed relationship… with oak.
• You woodn’t believe what they’re into these days.
• Termites don’t do crime—they do structure demolition
• Termite logic: If it’s wood, it’s food
• They don’t ghost you, they gnawst you
• He’s not a homewrecker, he’s a grain connoisseur
• Termite favorite pick-up line: You look chew-tiful today
• If termites had a law firm, it’d be called Bore & Associates
• Sawdust is just termite confetti
• Their favorite subject? Woodshop
• The only bugs with built-in saws for mouths – Check out more insects puns: Caterpillar Puns
• Termites are the OG interior designers… in reverse

And for my fellow pun addicts:

“A termite walks into a bar and asks, ‘Is the bar tender here?’”
👈 Yes, that one lives rent-free in my brain.

Cute Termite Puns

So maybe you’re here for something more light and cuddly—less “evil home destroyer,” more “aww, look at him chew!”

• Be my valen-gnaw? 💘
• You’re the only bug I’d let in my house.
• Their tiny jaws are just… chew precious.
• “f termites had dating apps, it’d be called ‘Splin-durr’.
• I wood love you forever 💕
• Just two bugs in love, sharing a log
• Termites and cuddles—my kind of night
• Wood you be my forever snack?
• Aww, look at him… he chews like a gentleman
• Baby termites be like… teething on floorboards
• His love language is acts of gnawvice
• Termite families stick together… with sap
• Let’s stay in and chew furniture tonight
• This bug gives me butterflies and chewed beams
• I don’t need roses, just fresh pine and you – Check out more insects puns: Ant Puns

Honestly, termites are lowkey kind of cute?? Like have you seen them under a microscope? Tiny fuzzy bois just trying to live their best grain-based life.

Termite Puns One Liners

Boom boom boom. Fast laughs. No setup needed. These one-liners hit like a nail gun to the funny bone:

• Woodn’t you know it, they’re back
• Termites: the OG home renovators.”
• I built a deck. Termites built their legacy on it.
• Furniture is just a buffet to them.
• Got termites? You’ve been board certified in pain.
• Termites: chewing more than your ex ever did
• If you can’t beat ’em, caulk ’em
• They didn’t knock, they chewed
• Home sweet… oops, gone
• Termites: demolition with tiny jaws
• My savings are going to pest control, not vacation
• Sawdust? No, that’s termite seasoning
• They don’t climb in through windows, they eat them
• Silence of the beams – Check out more insects puns: Scorpion Puns
• Wood floors, now plural because of cracks

Perfect for text jokes, memes, or when your group chat gets weird. You’re welcome.

Termite Puns Dirty

Alrighty. You scrolled all this way. You deserve the spicy stuff. These termite puns are a little naughty… but not too naughty. PG-13, let’s say?

• That termite? Yeah, he nibbles where it counts.
• She said she liked rough guys—so he brought a whole woodpile.
• He’s got wood… and he’s not afraid to chew it.
• Termites don’t just drill holes, they know how to fill ‘em too.
• You know it’s serious when the termites start double-gnawing. 😏
• He chewed it like it was oak from the gods
• She said she liked hard wood… termites delivered
• That termite’s been drilling all night
• House isn’t the only thing getting eaten
• You know he’s good when the foundation shakes
• This termite’s got stamina, just ask the floor
• They like it rough… sandpaper rough
• That bug’s been busy in every crack
• He’s into knots and wood grain – Check out more insects puns: Tarantula Puns
• She left him after he chewed her leg… off the table

I mean… if bugs had a love language, it’d definitely be physical touch (and destruction).

Final Thoughts: Termites May Be Pests, But These Puns Are Bangers

So we started with termites, added a little humor, and somehow ended up with thirst-trap bugs and pun-packed chaos.

Are termite puns useful? Nope.
Are they hilarious? Heck yeah.

If you ever hear scratching in your walls, maybe drop a termite pun before freaking out. Just for laughs. Or tweet it. Because why not?

Got a killer pun that wood make us laugh? Slide it in the comments. Let’s stay gnawed-in together. 🐜✌️